What-if's followed me to Japan. He said my life would be better with him. I thought otherwise though. But, he's already here. So, I let him join me around for a bit.
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I kept thinking, what if I was the one left. What if I was the one with shattered dreams. What could've been between me and people that used to be around me?
What if I were there, feeling what other people feel. Seeing what they see. Breathing the same air they breathe. What if I was still stuck with the same routine? Waking early, eating breakfast, taking a jeep to school?
Would my presence make a difference? Would my presence lighten someone's world? Or would my presence turn someone's wonderful world into something full of hatred?
What would I be if I were there? What would I be doing if I were left?
Right now, I'm hating photos. I'm hating Facebook.Because I don't really want to look back. I really don't want to look at everyone right now. I want to shut every connection for this time. But, I can't. I won't. My life would be in a mess if I did.
What do I need to do? Should I just live right now? No looking back. No what-if's and what-would's? Should I believe that God sent me here for a reason, for the best reason we could never know? Should I believe that He didn't just give this blessing because I wanted it, instead He gave it because He knew it was for my improvement? Even if the sacrifice would be leaving everything behind?
Yes, I think so. I think that's what I should do.
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